Whateverthefuckstuck

Author Topic: Part II  (Read 2935 times)

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sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #30 on: August 28, 2011, 01:30:56 AM »
>Watch the cruxthinger open.

Ling stared blankly as the most beautiful of all televisions was lifted gently into the air and then abruptly dropped on top of the cruxamajig.  There was a loud crash and bits of glass and beautiful television scattered around.  A bit of glass hit Ling's shoulder and cut through his shirt.  He barely noticed, his attention on the timer. 

3:02...3:01....

>Swear.

Ling tried not to swear too often, because it was not a very creative use of language!!!  But he made up for those years of abstinence in the next five seconds. 

Suddenly, that OTHER PERSON entered the room!  His MOTHER!  She was wearing a bathrobe and did not look happy about either the smashed tv OR the gigantic cruxer in the middle of the living room!!!

She is attempting to initiate STRIFE! 

>Go on the defense!

DEFENSIVE MODE: Activated! APPEAR BEFUDDLED!

How did this happen??? You have no idea! 

MOTHER is not going to put up with this crap!! 

STRIFE!!!!
Aggrieve!

MOTHER gets the initiative by ignoring Ling's BULLSHIT!

MOTHER uses ICE COLD SARCASM!

Ling is immune to SARCASM DAMAGE!  He takes MINIMAL DAMAGE!

Ling attempts to ABSCOND!

Attempt fails! 

MOTHER attempts YOUR FATHER WOULD BE ASHAMED!

Ling is immune to SHAME DAMAGE!  He takes NO DAMAGE!

Ling attempts to ABSCOND! 

Attempt fails!

MOTHER notices something strange out of the WINDOW! 

MOTHER attempts WALKING AWAY!

Attempt is successful! 

Ling ABSCONDS!

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #31 on: August 28, 2011, 02:18:10 AM »
Ling swayed, suddenly. 

>Check current status.



The bread barely did anything! 

>Refill stomach.

There wasn't enough time to go into the kitchen and bake up a souffle, or burn some more eggs, so Ling accessed his emergency food supply.  It consisted of three bars of chocolate, a granola bar, a package of Iguana Brand Cheez-nuts, six Hershey kisses, and twelve packages of Iguana Brand Snax Cakes.  He tore open the bag of Cheez-nuts, the glasses wearing iguana mascot staring up at him coolly.  He always saw that face, in his darkest moments of hunger.  Six seconds later, he dropped the garbage on the floor, next to the garbage that was what was left of the television. 

armoredSoul

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Re: Part II
« Reply #32 on: August 28, 2011, 11:42:18 AM »
Al was very confused suddenly, once the tv was smashed into oblivion (wasn't going to do anybody good if it was smashed by meteors anyway, he figured).  An angry woman in a bathrobe appeared and started yelling at Ling in Chinese.  Al watched, bemused, for a moment, while the orange glowy kernalsprite made its appearance.

And then there was crap all over the floor as Ling divested something Al assumed was his emergency ration supply.  Ugh.  Ling's mom was already pissed, BEFORE the tv had been smashed and candy wrappers were strewn across the floor.

That poor woman.

Al decided he would help by cleaning some of that crap up.  He picked up one of the candy wrappers...and the rug underneath it, whoops!  Okay, scratch that.  He tried a different one, a little more cautiously.

As he did so, Patches decided to jump up on his desk, landing on his mouse hand.  The candy wrapper was tossed dramatically through the air.

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #33 on: August 28, 2011, 11:57:23 AM »
Cheez-nuts package: Flutter gently into the kernalsprite.



IGUANA MASCOT is prototyped!

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #34 on: August 28, 2011, 04:24:23 PM »
>Watch the prototyping. 

Ling wasted valuable seconds watching the package meet the kernalsprite.  Suddenly, a sunglass-wearing iguana was floating in the air!

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #35 on: August 28, 2011, 04:32:32 PM »
SL: I guess that saves me from having to make a decision later, Al! 
AS: What is that thing??
SL: It's a snack food mascot!  You don't have Cool Iguana in your country?
AS: ....No.


Okay, there wasn't really time to think about delicious snack food mascots right now!  Ling turned the wheel on the Cruxerator and shoved the Cruxite into his sylladex. 

Al had left the card next to the Totem Lathe in a surprising show of clear thinking.  Maybe he hadn't completely lost his brain to the gods of Emo?  Al used to be the kind of guy you could really depend on...maybe this game would bring that back!  Or maybe not! 

Ling creates a totem as fast as is humanly possible and captchalogues it. 

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #36 on: August 28, 2011, 04:39:28 PM »
SL: You didn't really put the last thing on my roof, yes??
AS: Uh...
AS: Well, there are stairs

SL: ...okay!! :-(

>Find the stairs, quick!  You have just over a minute!

Ling missed the rest of what Al typed as he sped away from his computer and ran for the stairs now outside his house.  Quite a few of his neighbors were hanging around outside right now, most of them looking up at the sky, but a few of them were being confused by his stairs.  He ignored them and started to climb.

AS: Sorry
AS: There was no room anywhere else
AS: The stairs are a little narrow though so be careful


>Be careful.

Ling wasn't online, so he didn't read Al's warning.  His foot slipped and he slid back down the stairs.  Each step slammed into his chin painfully when it isn't slamming into his forehead.  He wasted valuable seconds laying at the bottom of the stairs, stunned.

armoredSoul

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Re: Part II
« Reply #37 on: August 28, 2011, 04:41:20 PM »
PESTERLOG:

AS: ...
AS: I warned you about the stairs, bro

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #38 on: August 28, 2011, 04:48:58 PM »
>Climb the damn stairs!

Ling jumped to his feet and climbed the stairs in record time.  Everything was going to hurt a lot very soon, but there was no time!  He could actually see the meteor, now.  He loaded up the totem and watched, nervous, as a refrigerator appeared on the platform.  It glowed orange. 

>Open mystic fridge. 

Ling yanked open the door and spotted a single food item inside.  A doughnut, set on a glowing orange plate. 

The wind had picked up, and his hair whipped around dramatically as he reached inside.  He picked up the doughnut--it felt somehow warm in his hand, despite the fridge. 

>Take a bite. 

What else do you do with a doughnut you find randomly inside a magical glowing fridge? 

Ling took a bite.

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #39 on: August 28, 2011, 05:37:42 PM »

sovereignLibertine

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Re: Part II
« Reply #40 on: August 28, 2011, 05:42:09 PM »
A bright light swung in the sky overhead.  Rain, pink and smelling like blood, hit Ling gently on the face.  His house was on an island surrounded on every side by a dark red ocean.

Ling sat down on his roof, heavily. 

chemicalSavant

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Re: Part II
« Reply #41 on: August 28, 2011, 10:09:30 PM »
Meanwhile, back at the ranch on LOSAS (that would be shorthand for Land Of Steel And Sparks, by the way), Ed was receiving a lesson in the game's supposed "alchemy" from GG and a somewhat helpful Game FAQ.

It seemed that it was possible to use some grist of different varieties to make combinations of different items.  Because of the grist usage, the original items remained intact, which was lucky because Ed had just combined his laptop with a wandering, innocent spider on accident, resulting in the ARACHNITOP, and Ed wasn't touching that.  It scurried off soon after its creation, anyway.

Combining the LAPTOP with the LADY GAGA CD gave him in the GAGATOP, which sang PAPARAZZI every time he opened it up and was conveniently shaped like a really fucking weird looking shoe.

Combining his AWESOME RED JACKET with the LADY GAGA CD gave him the SPARKLY SEQUINED POKER CAPE, which was entirely useless on top of being ugly.

There were a few useful combinations, though.  Ed ended up with GOLDEN TROMBARM, which was a clear upgrade to his ARMKIND STRIFE SPECIBUS, using the random trombone Ling had locked him in the room with.  He combined his laptop with his watch, resulting in the LAPWATCH, which wasn't very useful, until he combined his watch with his laptop, making the WATCHTOP.  Cool, a tiny computer for his wrist!  He felt like James Bond.

He combined, out of curiosity, his jacket and one of his secret stash of musical CDs--the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat one, specifically.  The result kind of predictable, actually, and he didn't have any use for a jacket that was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ocher and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and blue.

Combining The Phantom of the Opera with a pair of his Roomie's sunglasses granted him a pair of MASKGOGGLES, which were pretty cool looking but had no practical use.

Combining the TROMBARM with a CALCULUS BOOK gave him the NUMBER CRUNCHER arm, which KILLED BAD GUYS with ALGEBRA.

That was pretty fucking awesome, in Ed's book.  He wondered what Ling was up to, if someone had saved him from meteors yet.

chemicalSavant

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Re: Part II
« Reply #42 on: August 29, 2011, 11:03:33 AM »
PESTERLOG:

CS: DID YOU DIE
SL: No!  Thank u for caring <3<3<3<3
CS: I MOSTLY ONLY CARE BECAUSE YOU ARE MY SERVER PLAYER AND I NEED YOU TO GET ME UP TO THAT GATE UP THERE
SL: I need to what now? :D  Wow, this place I'm in is really pink!
CS: YOU NEED TO BUILD SHIT ON TOP OF MY DORM
CS: SO I CAN GET INTO THAT GATE UP THERE

SL: Gate?  Hahaha, you sound like you've learned a lot!  I know pretty much as much as I did when we spoke last time!
CS: MY MOM EXPLAINED IT
SL: So the gate is...that shiny thing?  What's the point of going up there?
CS: YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THEM TO GET TO THE NEXT PART OF THE GAME OR SOMETHING
SL: And then what??
CS: WE DO SOMETHING AWESOME
CS: I THINK

SL: .......yay!!!!
SL: Like save the world from meteors??

CS: NO
CS: I'M PRETTY SURE THE EARTH IS FUCKED

SL: ....aww :(
SL: I liked a lot of things about Earth

CS: DO YOU KNOW ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS THE GAME
CS: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONNECT TO AL
CS: GET HIM INTO THE GAME

SL: Um, Ran Fan has it!  AC?  She said she'd connect to me if Al was too busy being Al!
CS: OKAY
CS: IF I CAN FIND A WAY TO GET A COPY
CS: I CAN CONNECT TO SOMEONE TOO

SL: Oooo does beautiful Winry have a copy?
CS: I HAVE NO IDEA
CS: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW AL HAD IT

SL: I remember Greed talking about it a couple weeks ago, but he is reaaaaaaaaaaaally drunk right now, hahahaha.  Um, AA!
CS: AA HAS IT TOO?
CS: AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO HADN'T HEARD OF IT

SL: Well, Ran Fan was pretty excited about it, like, in her way!  So she made sure copies got around to her friends!
CS: OKAY ANYWAY
CS: DID YOU SEE ALL THE COOL SHIT I MADE

SL: ...Those r some strange things!  Wow!  I want to see u in that sparkly thing!!!!!!!!!  How did u make it???
CS: I AM NEVER WEARING THAT
SL: Oh my god but u made it and now I have 2 see!!!
CS: NOPE
CS: GONNA BURN IT PROBABLY

SL: Nooooooooooo~~!!  Save it!! I'LL WEAR IT FOREVER!
CS: NO WAY
CS: MAKE YOUR OWN SHIT

SL: awww :(